OK I did it. I admit it! There’s no one else to blame. I had no accomplices! It was all me.

I killed the pool.

It was a dark and stormy night… well not really. It was sixty degrees and sunny round noon but I just couldn’t take it anymore. There it was. All big and blue. Taking up our entire yard like it owned the place. I hated it.

Jared was upstairs ripping up the bathroom floor. So naive to the bloodbath, er… stale pool water bath that was about to take place in his own back yard.

“I hate you pool,” I said matter-of-factly from the sun porch. I picked up a small narrow blade that was lying in a milk crate. I walked over to the middle of the yard and stooped down behind the pool decking. I didn’t want my new neighbors to know my evil potential.

I stabbed. But the blade would not penetrate the aluminum pool siding. So I stabbed again. And again. This wasn’t working. Time to bring in the big guns. With a small, sharp drill bit, I tore into that siding. A perfect circle but no water. With a screwdriver I sealed the deal. Punctured the lining and watched the water seep out.

It didn’t take long for me to confess to Jared. In fact, I was kinda proud of it. I single handedly killed the pool. Now all that’s left to do is tear down that aluminum and cash it in to the scrap yard for a decent profit. I feel like a hitman ready to collect their payment for services rendered.

OK maybe I’ve been watching a little too much Bates Motel lately but seriously, I think above the ground swimming pools are an eyesore, a liability, and a waste of time in New England when they are open for a whole 3 months of the year. So yes, I’m very pleased with our decision to remove the pool. Even if it was slightly violent.